I was driving along the main drag in our fair city recently, when NOT 100 metres from a pedestrian crosswalk, OUT stepped a young, very curly, long haired young man, from between two parked cars, waving his arms in the air. I tend to notice men with hair, especially as I age. I enjoy seeing a full head of hair on any young person, really. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, this young fella stepping out onto a busy street, from out of nowhere.
Well, I didn't really know what he was waving his arms about, but I was NOT about to stop and find out. I would have had to SLAM on my brakes, and possibly be rear ended by a car behind me, so I kept on going. I did look up at my rear view mirror, only to see him give ME the finger... le DOIGT D'HONNEUR. FRANCHEMENT!!!! I guess he had wanted me to stop to let him cross the street. Well, I just said to myself, "Listen young man, use the crosswalk. Don't they teach you SOMEWHERE, never to step out from between parked cars?"
I thought no more of the incident, because in two minutes I was at my destination, the waterfront parking lot, where I had business with my seamstress. I had no sooner parked, turned OFF my car, and was putting on my mask, when another car pulled up RIGHT beside me. Music was blaring, plus the muffler was busted and making an ear splitting racket. Guess who was at the wheel? None other than the young man who had just given me the finger! I know hair when I see it. It was him!
My first thought was, "OMG, road rage. He has followed me here and is about to tear a strip off me!" What else could it be? I drive a BRIGHT, neon green Mazda, with a Canadian flag fluttering in the wind, on the roof top antennae. You can spot me miles away. He was out to get me! (My imagination tends to run wild, the older I get!)
When I entered the parking lot, I had noticed there were two men wearing security vests, not 50 metres from where I was parked, so I decided right then and there, to bite the bullet and nip this possible nasty encounter, right in the bud! Tuer l'oeuf dans le coque, comme qu'on dit. These men would be witnesses to a possible nasty encounter, and would surely come to my rescue, if need be?
I jumped out of Jiminy and went RIGHT up to this guy's window, which was rolled up. He was absorbed on his phone. I rapped smartly on the window. He looked up, obviously startled, and all wide eyed. I waved my ARMS and spreading them wide, slowly articulated with my mouth, so that he could read my lips, "I DID NOT see you back there!" He looked scared, nodded, smiled and looked down at his phone again, kind of fluffing me off.
By this time, I was on a roll. I rapped on his window again: he looked up, now decidedly embarrassed, wanting to get rid of me, smiling benevolently, but still NOT rolling down his window. Well, I gave HIM the finger, by wagging my finger back and forth, and mouthed the words, "NO more giving me the finger, okay? That's not nice! " He nodded vigourously, smiled, and went back to staring at his phone. So our one sided conversation was OVER, I guess?
I finally trotted off, happy to have gotten MY message across, and thinking, "Don't mess with little old, white haired ladies!"
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