A precious commodity INDEED...

is a good night's sleep!  Did you know that three percent of Canadians suffer from sleep apnea?  You may have it and you don't know it.  If that is the case, then you are one LUCKY person.  Keep it that way!  Sleep apnea, defined as pauses in breathing during sleep, is making my life a living hell right now.

Ignorance is bliss, and I would be blissfully ignorant about this "apnea" if my daughter, with whom I went camping, hadn't told me out of concern, that I stopped breathing while sleeping.  So off I went to get tested.  Three times!  I didn't have any of the classic signs of sleep apnea, such as always being tired, or heavy snoring, or falling asleep at the wheel.  Yikes!   I certainly don't snore... well, unless I've imbibed a little more VINO than I should have, but THAT doesn't happen often.

I have had the CPAP (= continuous positive airway pressure) machine for eighteen months now.  In short, it blows puffs of air to wake me up when I stop breathing.  I have a DEFINITE HATE relationship with it.  There is no LOVE there whatsoever. The machine was supposed to give me a better night's sleep.  As it was, I was waking up in the middle of the night, unable to get back to sleep. Well, I am STILL waking up in the middle of the night.  I have put the machine aside for months at a time, out of total frustration.  Thank goodness my insurance paid 80% of the cost of the damn thing.  If I had had to pay it all out of my pocket, THAT would certainly explain WHY I am not sleeping.

I have gone from looking like a cyborg, to now looking like a T+O+T+A+L  alien. Getting ready for bed fills me with dread.  I am having problems adjusting to my fifth facial mask.  I have tried them all, and ended up buying the one you see in the picture. Wearing that mask sucks all the saliva out of my mouth.  I still wake up in the middle of the night, but now my mouth has collapsed into this dry suction cup!   Since my therapist wants to rule out a type of double sleep apnea, which occurs when you sleep on your back, causing your epiglottis to close, he wants me to wear what I call a slumber bumper.  This "BELT" which is velcroed around my waist, stops me from rolling over onto my back.  It doesn't matter that I tell him I have NEVER, EVER slept on my back.  He has to rule that out as being the problem with my mask. Frankly,  I don't understand any of this.

Along with my CPAP mask and tubing, accompanied by that damn "slumber bumper", I also add a dental appliance to stop me from grinding my teeth, as well as a hand brace that stops me from clenching my fists.  I am more DECKED OUT than the Brits were for Harry and Meghan's wedding!!!  What I wouldn't give just to hop into bed in my pj's and nothing more.

What really adds insult to injury with this "sleep apnea", is that I am the picture of total health otherwise. If you have sleep apnea, you are at a greater risk for heart disease, diabetes, ...you name it.  Well, I take no medication w-h-a-t-s-o-e-v-e-r; my blood pressure, cholesterol, glycemic levels, and body mass index, are ALL fine!!!  I just had them checked at a health clinic, after I did a 5K Fun Run.

To quote Alanis Morrissette, "Isn't it IRONIC?"

I would love to hear your CPAP story, if you have one that you care to share.

PS: I must be really missing Rick Mercer!