Sloppy Joe!

My mother often called me "Sloppy Joe" growing up. I wasn't sloppy in appearance, (at least I don't think I was), but I was clumsy. I am STILL clumsy.  I get into the weirdest little predicaments.  If something is going to happen that is odd, it is going to happen to me.

Take the SUP class I took - stand up paddling on this floating board. It is really sharp! Well, of course, my paddle is the one that had to come apart in half: while I grasped the top part in my hand, and tried not to lose my balance, the bottom half FELL right off.   I yelled to the instructors, but they were too far  away to help. I quickly dropped to my stomach on the board, and with my hands tried to paddle back to the bottom part of the paddle which was sinking very quickly a few metres behind me. Had I dropped the entire paddle, it would have at least floated.   Thank goodness another student close by was able get to it, and hand it back to me. NO one else's paddle came apart. Mind you, most of the students FELL in the water, and I DID NOT. :)

I was heading to a performance of The Bard at a park, on foot, with my deck chair over one shoulder and Vimy on his leash in my left hand.  There was tape across the entrance, like the crime scene stuff, only blue, to prevent cars from entering. I just ducked under it. Do you think I could duck under that tape without incident? No way! I brought it all right down. BROKE the tape, IN FACT,  so that the sticky side fell on the gravel. I quickly looked around to see if anyone had seen my clumsiness. No one did, I think. Still juggling the leash and the chair, I managed to tape the end back to the post, all the while thinking... Sloppy Joe!

While visiting my son in Edmonton, I slipped and fell in some mud on the sidewalk.  I was filthy = one leg totally covered in thick mud, the opposite hand and arm, where I had tried to break my fall, equally so. I hobbled back to Sean's, ringing the doorbell with one finger and clutching Mathilda's leash in the other.  Sean's first remark, "Did anyone see you?" LOL

What did I do today? B-R-O-K-E a mirror!!  A f-u-l-l  l-e-n-g-t-h one. How did that happen?  I haven't the foggiest idea!  I rested it alongside the back seat of my car, intending to give it to my sister-in-law. The only thing in front of it was a soft grocery bag holding a witch's costume. I drove to my destination, opened the back door, and noticed right away that one end of the mirror had broken into many long, thin shards. Some had even fallen out. How can that be? I didn't do anything.   Am I to believe that I am NOW going to have SEVEN YEARS OF BAD LUCK???  YIKES!!!