LAUGHTER is A.L.W.A.Y.S the best medicine!

We ALL need to laugh more.  We especially need to do so after a long, H*A*R*D winter that refuses to end.

Below is what tickled me pink this week.  I am keeping it short, and pictoral.

People shoveling the snow OFF their FRONT LAWNS.  Only in NB, eh?

Garbage bins with inspirational/motivational (?) messages. Follow your dreams?  I am on the hunt for m...o...r...e of these during my walks around town.

These T-shirts were worn by two boys in the SAME Grade Two class, on the SAME day!  Gotta get one of these, cause I LOVE bacon too!

WHAT MADE YOU LAUGH THIS WEEK? 

FISH and COMPANY...

start to smell after three days, or so the saying goes!  Last year I had over 50 sleepovers, here at my house. I didn't find it smelly!! :)  (Big shrug here!) I can't really smell anyway. 

I LOVE when company comes to visit, whether they are just passing through, staying one night, or two, or three. Why? It is CHRISTMAS when they come. They come bearing gifts galore. You wouldn't believe their generosity.

Take my fellow Peregrina on the Camino. Her most recent visit, when she ended up in the hospital for three days? She brought me, and I shall list them, though I am sure I am forgetting some.

1) a sun catcher for my dining room window
2) two lovely tops, because they cost nothing.  Those last four words? Her             mantra.
3) a trivet she made out of Canadian pennies
4) a bottle of rum, a bottle of Tia Maria and three bottles of good wine
5) a teenie, tiny puzzle
6) Canadian themed stuffed toys for Vimy - a beaver, a goose, a moose. Can         you believe it?
7) winter booties for Vimy, which didn't fit, unfortunately!

Furthermore, I never have to feed her, ever! She eats all her meals with her mother when she visits her all day. What's not to love about this guest?

My sister? When she comes, she brings me all her old clothes, stuffed toys for Vimy, and little gifts for me, that she has picked up at Marden's for .... you guessed it, next to nothing.  Plus she insists on bringing her own food! Furthermore, she cooks! I don't ever have to feed her either!  What's not to love about this guest?

My friend JJ? Same thing.  More food, wine and gifts, and she is usually just passing through! What's NOT to love about this guest?

My friend Listen Linda?  Her generosity knows no bounds either. She EMPTIES her fridge when she comes to visit me, and brings ALL her food, I swear to God. Besides that, she is always giving me shoes. I call her Imelda Marcos the 2nd. Not to mention clothing, natural products, and gadgets; again, according to her, all because  ''THEY COST NOTHING!''  

I would L-O-V-E their company regardless of all their gifts.  Honestly!!! However, I want them to know how much their generosity means to me. I don't think renting out my guest room through Air BnB, would come anywhere close to being as much fun! 

Though I am beginning to wonder whether everyone bringing their own food, is a hint that I am a lousy cook? :) No, don't answer that!

NOT!

A SINGLE, STRIKING, SOUL SOARING MOMENT ...

that was TOTALLY life affirming, happened to me this morning. 

I walked out my door, at 7:30 am, on my way to take Vimy for a walk, before leaving for work.  There wasn't a quarter inch of frost on my windshield, NOR was there two inches of snow. Quelle surprise!! However, that WAS NOT the moment.

I waved to my next door neighbour, who was climbing into a truck, with his father.  I knew they were heading out to their camp, for the day. Now, my neighbour is sixty-seven years old. His FATHER, is ninety-nine years old.  Who do you think was driving the truck?  YOU GUESSED IT!!! The ninety-nine year old.  Need I say more? 

Kids DO say the darndest things!

These quotes are all from Kindergarten, Grade One and Grade Two students.

''What's a subdivision?''

''I remember when you were my teacher. It was the BEST DAY ever!'' (If that doesn't make your day, NOTHING will!)

Playing Hangman - ''It's COOL to see someone hang.'' (HUH?)

''Did you know the day BEFORE your birthday, is your Little Birthday?  People have to listen to you on your birthday.''  (I guess the rest of the year, they don't have to listen?)

''WOW! I never saw a teacher FALL before.'' (I had slipped on some water in the hallway, and ended up on my knees, right in front of this child!  I guess we are NOT mere mortals to them.)

William - ''You DON'T watch TV? (Total incredulity!).  TV's my LIFE!!''

Ryan - ''I am giving you an apple, because you give a teacher an apple when you apologize.'' (Bless his little heart!)

Ryan (again!) - He was reading me his letter he had written, when  I was distracted by another student. He pauses and says,  ''I am waiting for YOU to listen,''  (I wonder where he heard THAT before?)

I was having problems with the Smart Board and one little fellow pipes up,"We need a PROFESSIONAL!''

Simon, did you just ask for a drink. Simon - ''I zink so!"

Dylan - ''Sliding is HEAVEN!''

One student, wanting to show me a tongue twister in a book, adds, in an apologetic tone.  ''It has a BAD word in it, though.''  I looked, and I laughed!  ''Dick kicks sticky bricks!''  I explained how kids my age grew up reading books called ''Dick and Jane''.  I don't think she believed me. :)

While on drop off duty one morning, two little sisters came up to me and told me their mother had had a minor car accident recently. When I asked for details, little Amber in Kindergarten started to tell me,  "Well, this OLD LADY,,,  and before she could continue further, her older sister, nudged her and said, ''ELDERLY''.  I had to chuckle to myself. SO, SO politically correct at such a young age!!

THIS CHICK'S POSTSCRIPT...

I was NO happy little Easter chick today... especially with a morning that got off to a b-a-d start.

While accepting a job posting through my smart phone app, for a supply teaching position, I made not one, but TWO mistakes.  Why? First of all, it was 6;15 am and secondly, I haven't slept well in weeks. Methinks it is very easy to screw things up, under those conditions.

My F*I*R*S*T mistake was unknowlingly accepting a half-day.  I NEVER do half days, because inevitably, the other school district calls me for a full day.  So I am a gambler! The odds are almost always in my favour. However, this morning I didn't know it was only a half day (any explanation would be w...a...y too long and detailed).  My second mistake was trying to CANCEL that posting, because I THEN inadvertently cancelled a later booking in April instead!  I couldn't reverse it, as another teacher picked up that opening.  While I am trying to make things right, my other employer DOES call, offering me a full day today, which I had to decline.  Consequently, in the space of five minutes, before I was even OUT of bed, I had lost 1.5 days of work.  OMG, I TOTALLY love to HATE the automated booking system for supply teachers.  With a passion, I might add!

By now, I am fully awake, and suddenly full of nervous energy.  In between preparing breakfast and getting ready, I decide to scrub out the bathtub before I go to work.

Later, while doing my daily ablutions,  I grabbed what I thought was my facecloth, lying in the sink, and used it to wash my face.  I only realized upon closer inspection, that what I had in hand, was the old faceloth-cum-rag, with which I had just scoured the TUB!  It is really easy to make such a mistake, when you have so little sense of smell, that you couldn't distinguish between COMET and CORIANDER, even if stuck right up your NOSE! I was still fuming about that when I took off to my HALF DAY of work.

At the stop sign, I saw the mother whom I had blogged about last week in ''I Was No Angel...''.  She had just put her children on the bus. I peeped my horn, scooted across the road, rolled down my window and asked her how she was.  She looked terrible, poor thing. She was so pale; she had red scrapes all over her face. We chattered a few minutes, and she assured me she was fine.

I was SO relieved to know that, as I hadn't seen her since last Friday, that my frustrations about my morning,  dissipated IMMEDIATELY.  It's funny how ONE incident can put OTHERS into such
b-e-t-t-e-r perspective. It was like I had just been given a GOOD, HARD KICK in the ass!!!

JOYEUSES PÂQUES À VOUS TOUS!

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!

I WAS NO ANGEL...

of mercy.  When I think back to what happened this morning, it is with a sense of shame and utter helplessness.

I was running five minutes later than usual, on my way to school this morning. As I cruised toward the stop near my home, I saw a van parked in the far lane on Riverside Drive, not off to the side, but still ON the road, which I found odd. When I got to the stop, I saw why. Across the road, a woman had fallen on the ground. She was having convulsions. I crossed over, parked and rushed over to her, where the driver of the van had knelt.  He pulled out his cell phone and was calling 911.

I ran back to my car to get a blanket, gingerly laid it over her, and put what I hoped was a comforting hand on her back. ALL my Red Cross First Aid training DISAPPEARED!!! I reacted instinctively, to comfort her in the only way I knew how. When I pulled back her long hair from her face, I recognized her immediately.  I see her EVERY morning at that intersection, waiting for the school bus with her two children.  I sent a silent pray of thanks that the bus had already picked up her children, and that they had been spared seeing their mother in SUCH distress. 

Her face was cut and bleeding. She was still having convulsions. The 911 operator asked the young man all kinds of questions, to which he had no answer.  He had seen her drop to the ground and had stopped immediately.  I supplied what I knew about her.  He hung up and we seemed to wait forever for an ambulance. She eventually stopped convulsing, and was now moaning and slowly regaining consciousness. We finally heard sirens.  A young police officer pulled up behind me, and quickly joined us.  I gave the information I had, knowing the house she lived in was on the opposite corner, as I had often seen her there outside.  I left, as she was giving her name to the police officer. There was nothing more I could do. NOT that I even did anything.

When I got to work, I felt sick. I sat, put my head between my legs, and tried to compose myself, telling the secretary what happened. I felt SO, SO helpless. I couldn't have done a thing to save that woman, if HER life had depended on it. I can't bear to think that she is anything but alright.  I won't know until Monday, whether she is, when I look for her at the bus stop.  

We OWE so much to all our first responders out there. We have NO IDEA of the traumatic scenes they bare witness to, nor the images that remain forever etched in their minds.

I will NEVER forget this morning. True, I don't face these type of incidences every day, but that doesn't diminish the extraordinary work of those who DO witness these sometimes horrific accidents in life, on a regular basis. Take time to thank, if only in your heart, all paramedics, police officers, fire fighters, doctors, and nurses who EVERY day, come to the aid of fellow human beings who are in danger, are vulnerable, and need help. 

THEY are our t*r*u*e heroes.  NOT hockey players, NOR baseball players, NOR actors, NOR musicians. THESE first responders are the heroes who walk amongst us, unheard, unsung and often unappreciated.

I CAN FOOL YOU ONCE ...

... however, FOUR times with the SAME April Fool's joke?  It is unbelievable how I have been caught T =H=A=T  many times.

The first time I was fooled, it happened seven or eight years ago, when my fiston (son) called very late one April Fool's Day. He says, so seriously, ''Mom, I have something really important to tell you!'' My heart plummeted when he continued, ''I had a one night stand with a girl I met in a bar, and she's just told me she is PREGNANT.''  I kept my cool, all the while wanting to just faint!  I asked him a few questions, like... ''How do YOU feel about that?  Then he yells ''APRIL FOOLS Mom!  I could have smacked him, had he been close to my hand.  I was flooded with relief, and then with anger, when I unthinkingly yelled, ''You SOB! How could you do that to your mother?'' I hung up all SHOOK up.  I told him several times after that, ''Don't EVER do that to me again!''

The following year, I answered the phone late the same date in question.  I totally forgot it was April 1st.   On the line was my then future son-in-law Alec, calling from Newfoundland.  Without preamble he says, ''Chouette (my daughter) just found out she is pregnant, and she is upset. ''  I knew that my daughter had just received her acceptance to do her Masters Degree at the University of Calgary, and that they would be moving there soon. Again, I remained calm, not knowing whether to be happy or not. It depended on their response to this.   I asked a few more questions, not really assimilating his responses, not even wondering why she wasn't telling me this herself, until he TOO yelled ''APRIL FOOLS!''  How can I explain both the sense of relief and the sense of dejection that I had?

I hung up, a little shook up AGAIN, and ticked too, in a way, that I had been HAD again. On the same SUBJECT to boot!   My ex, who has a wicked sense of humour said, ''Why don't you call our son and tell him a variation of that?'' What a FABULOUS IDEA!!  I grabbed the phone and called fiston.  I really poured it on, with a shaky, teary voice, telling him,  ''Your sister just called. She is pregnant and her partner has left her for someone at his office!'' (I decided to throw that last part in myself. This was payback time!) LOL

Fiston was in total shock. '''What the $%#$!?Wait until I get my hands on him. I am going to KILL HIM! What happened?''   I didn't let him suffer too long before I YELLED, ''APRIL FOOLS!'' His answer still makes me laugh to this day, and I have NEVER forgotten it. Oh Mom,.. YOU ARE DEAD! YOU ARE SO DEAD!!!  I am going to get you back for this!''  He never D*I*D, and he got over it. Hey, if you are going to do MEAN things to your mother... you better w...a...t...c...h out kiddo!

The following year, I said ''There is NO WAY I am going to be caught off guard this April 1st.  NO WAY!  We were on a flight to Calgary to visit Chouette (not her real name) and partner, for the long Easter weekend. As we are coming down the escalator at the airport, I spot her standing with a sign ''Welcome Grandpa and Grandma.''   She is ...pregnant!! For a fleeting second I thought, ''OMG, it's true!  We hadn't seen them since the previous August. Of course, as we got closer, Chouette whips out the cushion from underneath her shirt.  I wasn't TOTALLY fooled that day, but.... the staging WAS in keeping with the April Fool's Day theme.

Skip forward a few years.  I get a text from Baby Bro Saturday.  I read, ''She's pregnant!''  I quickly scroll up and see that he is referring to Bella. All the following thoughts race through my head, before I can even text back.  I think '' I guess congratulations are in order,'' Followed by '' I wonder if Vimy is the father?''  Then, ''No, he can't be the father. He's been fixed!''  Then , ''Isn't Bella too old to be pregnant?'' Oh, did I mention Bella is his border collie? 

He texts me a sob story about how the vet says she is too old; it will cost $700 to terminate her pregnancy, as her life is at risk if she gives birth. I am just about ready to burst into tears, when the next text says, ''APRIL FOOLS!'' 

I have made a vow NOT to get caught next year, 2018!!! I am so going to be prepared.  I will be TOTALLY INCOMMUNICADO all day.