The first time I was fooled, it happened seven or eight years ago, when my fiston (son) called very late one April Fool's Day. He says, so seriously, ''Mom, I have something really important to tell you!'' My heart plummeted when he continued, ''I had a one night stand with a girl I met in a bar, and she's just told me she is PREGNANT.'' I kept my cool, all the while wanting to just faint! I asked him a few questions, like... ''How do YOU feel about that? Then he yells ''APRIL FOOLS Mom! I could have smacked him, had he been close to my hand. I was flooded with relief, and then with anger, when I unthinkingly yelled, ''You SOB! How could you do that to your mother?'' I hung up all SHOOK up. I told him several times after that, ''Don't EVER do that to me again!''
The following year, I answered the phone late the same date in question. I totally forgot it was April 1st. On the line was my then future son-in-law Alec, calling from Newfoundland. Without preamble he says, ''Chouette (my daughter) just found out she is pregnant, and she is upset. '' I knew that my daughter had just received her acceptance to do her Masters Degree at the University of Calgary, and that they would be moving there soon. Again, I remained calm, not knowing whether to be happy or not. It depended on their response to this. I asked a few more questions, not really assimilating his responses, not even wondering why she wasn't telling me this herself, until he TOO yelled ''APRIL FOOLS!'' How can I explain both the sense of relief and the sense of dejection that I had?
I hung up, a little shook up AGAIN, and ticked too, in a way, that I had been HAD again. On the same SUBJECT to boot! My ex, who has a wicked sense of humour said, ''Why don't you call our son and tell him a variation of that?'' What a FABULOUS IDEA!! I grabbed the phone and called fiston. I really poured it on, with a shaky, teary voice, telling him, ''Your sister just called. She is pregnant and her partner has left her for someone at his office!'' (I decided to throw that last part in myself. This was payback time!) LOL
Fiston was in total shock. '''What the $%#$!?Wait until I get my hands on him. I am going to KILL HIM! What happened?'' I didn't let him suffer too long before I YELLED, ''APRIL FOOLS!'' His answer still makes me laugh to this day, and I have NEVER forgotten it. Oh Mom,.. YOU ARE DEAD! YOU ARE SO DEAD!!! I am going to get you back for this!'' He never D*I*D, and he got over it. Hey, if you are going to do MEAN things to your mother... you better w...a...t...c...h out kiddo!
The following year, I said ''There is NO WAY I am going to be caught off guard this April 1st. NO WAY! We were on a flight to Calgary to visit Chouette (not her real name) and partner, for the long Easter weekend. As we are coming down the escalator at the airport, I spot her standing with a sign ''Welcome Grandpa and Grandma.'' She is ...pregnant!! For a fleeting second I thought, ''OMG, it's true! We hadn't seen them since the previous August. Of course, as we got closer, Chouette whips out the cushion from underneath her shirt. I wasn't TOTALLY fooled that day, but.... the staging WAS in keeping with the April Fool's Day theme.
Skip forward a few years. I get a text from Baby Bro Saturday. I read, ''She's pregnant!'' I quickly scroll up and see that he is referring to Bella. All the following thoughts race through my head, before I can even text back. I think '' I guess congratulations are in order,'' Followed by '' I wonder if Vimy is the father?'' Then, ''No, he can't be the father. He's been fixed!'' Then , ''Isn't Bella too old to be pregnant?'' Oh, did I mention Bella is his border collie?
He texts me a sob story about how the vet says she is too old; it will cost $700 to terminate her pregnancy, as her life is at risk if she gives birth. I am just about ready to burst into tears, when the next text says, ''APRIL FOOLS!''
I have made a vow NOT to get caught next year, 2018!!! I am so going to be prepared. I will be TOTALLY INCOMMUNICADO all day.
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