What can I say about PARADISE?

I can say that ...

when you are on the beach, you will see gorgeous pelicans flying overhead in perfect formation.

you will see horses trotting by with bareback riders, led by a Rastafarian looking, dread locked,  handsome, young man, shielding his eyes from the sun.

a tiny, three year old will suddenly run up to you on the beach, and shove a handful of small, dead fish under your nose.  He will solemnly declare that they are " pescacitos muertos ".  He will then inform you that they are "sin ojos" (without eyes) and when you ask him in Spanish where they went, he will shrug and reply "Perditos!"   LOST!  You  will pull out a tissue, hold it to his nose and he will blow like a foghorn, before scampering off, never to be seen again.

a man holding a beautiful four month old baby, upon seeing the look of longing on your face when you walk by, will offer him up to you.  You will dash over and experience pure bliss and wonder, as you snuggle this warm, sweet smelling body close to your chest.  When you have to give him back, you will spread kisses all over his sweet chubby face, hands and feet and YOU will scamper off.

you will get a bug bite while sleeping, and scratch it.  Not good!  You will wake up with a swollen hand, which some say is the result of an ant bite, others say a spider bite. So out comes the Benadryl, teatree oil and prescription ointment. Your hand still looks terrible but you hope that tomorrow your hand will look better.

you will see some REAL diehard fisherman jigging for "hurel", one of them with crutches!

your beer that you poured into your Tim Horton's mug to keep cold, but did NOT drink right away, will suddenly blow its cap with a huge pop, and soak everything in your packsack with beer.

you will buy fresh fruit and cheese at the local market, and enjoy a simple repast for your Saturday evening supper.

you will realize that you are living "La Dolce Vita" and you will be ever so grateful.

What's not to love...

about traveling? ALL of it! The highs and lows, the adventures and misadventures, the people you meet, their culture, history and geography you experience, their language you try to speak, the beauty of their country that you soak up.

When you travel, you have to expect the UNEXPECTED!  Your flights WILL be delayed; you WILL arrive late, but thankfully, this time you will NOT miss any connections.  You WILL get up at 3:30 am to catch a 5:30 am flight.  The luggage carousel WILL break down and it will take over an hour to deliver your luggage. The taxi van WILL have a flat tire shortly after leaving the airport, breaking down right in front of Walmart. Yessir! Walmart is in CR!!!  Your replacement taxi will not be able to get up the 45 degree driveway of your hotel, because ANOTHER taxi is stuck there having backed out DOWN the driveway.  Your driver will jump out, other men will come running, and they will rock that taxi to get it unstuck.  All the while you are sitting there watching this unfold, your brother in the front seat declaring that the taxi is going to roll down and HIT your vehicle. It doesn't.  It is now midnight; you have been up for twenty-one hours and you don't really care if it does!!  Midnight, and you are at destination.  Sweet!

A half decent night's sleep, a breakfast of fresh fruit and toast, and you are on your way again, to your final destination for the next month.  Your Panamanian/Costa Rican private shuttle driver, a charming, black 51 year old, is informative and fun. You know he is totally at ease with the  four of you, when he engages in political commentary and drops the "F" bomb more than once!  He also happens to be the former mayor of the little town where you are staying, so he knows EVERYONE and EVERYTHING!  SWEET!

You WILL arrive at your final destination, and it IS sweet!!

PS:  You WILL notice those toilets in airports that flush automatically and do so BEFORE you even stand up! There is so much suction that your bare backside gets sprayed!  Plus the swooshing noise causes you to practically jump out of your skin!

DO YOU TRUST GPS?

I DO trust GPS or Google Maps, when I am in big cities, or densely populated areas.  Rural NB?  NO WAY, José.

The little doctor from Québec who got lost in the back woods of northern NB for three days, in winter, driving from Sherbrooke, to Bathurst, is a case in point.  Three snowmobilers found her.  I K*N*E*W  those damn machines were good for something other than noise and air pollution.  What did she use to guide her? Her car's GPS system.   GPS sends you down the nearest road, if you get off track. That road, in NB, more often than NOT, can be a DIRT road. Do you need to be on a dirt road?  I think not.  You can read about that medical student's adventure, below.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/new-brunswick/gps-stranded-driver-stuck-3-days-in-snow-1.993878

We have all been lost at some point, but with a GPS, you can sometimes get REALLY lost.  I wanted to go from Riverview, to Hillsborough, about eight years ago. Where did my GPS take me?  Into the woods as well, where I ended up on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere, and a total dead end!

I even found a Garmin GPS in the woods, when I was looking for my golf ball. I cleaned it up and it looked brand new, but of course it didn't work.  I guess THAT is why someone chucked it in the woods in TOTAL frustration, in the first place.

I won't even mention about when I left St.Martin's, and ended up in Sussex, when I should have been in Rothesay!

So, recently, when I wanted to leave the bright lights of our major city in NB, Moncton, SANS GPS, I headed out on what I thought was the correct highway, to take the first exit going north.  Well, that WAS NOT it.  I ended up out in the middle of nowhere, where all I could see were rural roads branching off in all directions, along with several long on or off ramps.  Total confusion, and no road signs that made any sense to me.

I knew I was lost.  I also knew I should pay attention to those numbers they assign to roads but I never do.  I consulted Google maps on my phone.  Way too many directions, none of which made sense to me.  Then I saw a vehicle approaching with what looked like a sympathetic woman driver, so I rolled down my window and flagged her down, so to speak.

I must admit, her funky hairdo (think a fluorescent Mohawk!) was a big distraction, but I strove to listen carefully as she very patiently explained that it would be easier for me to follow these back roads out to Route 126, then to send me back to my original departure point.  I followed her instructions precisely, and arrived at route 126, where I turned right. W.e.l.l.... I knew when I saw a familiar landmark, (a school), that I should have turned left, as I was heading right back to Moncton.  I turned Jiminy on a dime, and we were finally on our way home.

My little adventure set me back twenty minutes.  Peanuts, compared to how much more time I could have wasted, had I used the GPS on my phone, possibly ending up on some D=E=A=D=E=N=D,

DIRT ROAD, AGAIN!

PS:  To myself - change the settings on my phone to eliminate dirt roads? 

Happiness is...

getting home from work on a Friday night, and  managing to get into your snowy driveway FIVE minutes ahead of the town plow, which passes and completely blocks your driveway!

having a new 550 piece puzzle, a good book, Thuyla gin, Netflix and your best companion for company, on a snowy, stormy Friday night.

having a very dear, old friend with whom you can share a good laugh.  I had taken her winter coat and mine, intending to hang them up in a public cloakroom, when it dawned on me that my V-E-R-Y expensive coat could easily be removed by anyone going by.  This same, dear friend was the one who had coaxed me into buying THAT coat four years ago.  What did I do? I put my coat on the hanger first, and then hung her coat on TOP of mine.  When I relayed what I had done, albeit a little sheepishly, she laughed and said, "Your coat cost you over $450.00?  Mine was $10.00!  Go for it!"

knowing that another dear, good friend, road warrior companion and partner in adventures and crime, sailed through two surgeries and God only knows how many invasive procedures during a month long PLUS stay in hospital, all the while admitting she is a" tough old bird!", laughing and keeping a totally positive attitude.

celebrating your mother's eighty-fourth birthday with her, and two of your four siblings.  Que je suis donc chanceuse, de pouvoir réjouir d'une maman toujours resplendissante, et en pleine forme!

hugging your sis-in-law at work, slipping her a Lindt chocolate for Valentine's day, and telling her you love her!

knowing a good friend will drop anything and everything, to come to you in your hour of need, NO MATTER how big or small that need actually is.

getting to know other single women like yourself, with whom to socialize and have fun. It isn't always easy being a "single-ette" in a "couples" world.

seeing Canadian athletes do their VERY best to represent our WONDERFUL country, regardless of whether they earn a medal or NOT.

BLISS?

your investment adviser telling you, YES, you CAN afford to retire at the end of the year!

MORE BLISS?

a little forward thinking, some surfing on the net, a sweet seat sale with AC Rouge; all of which lets me spend a month of winter with family and friends,  in my second favourite country in the world.  Costa Rica, here I come!

PURE BLISS?

getting a text on Valentine's Day that shows the ultra sound of your first unborn grandchild, five months in utero, and clearly seeing a familiar upturned nose!

I need to be COMMITTED....

 but not to some kind of asylum.  I am talking about commitment versus resolution.  I decided NOT to make any "RESOLUTIONS" per say, in this New Year.  Rather, I decided to commit to being kinder, to engage, to apply, to improve, and to stand out, in whatever I chose.  We live in a crazy, upside world these days. Everything can appear dark, uncertain and foreboding.  Why not shed a little light here and there, by trying to be kind?  To anybody!

Doing a kind gesture à la #beccatoldmeto, EVERY DAY, is relatively easy, especially on a teaching day. I simply offer to do another teacher's supervision, and voilà, instant, HUGE gratitude on their part, and satisfaction on mine.  Love it! 💓

Non working days are a little harder.  However, one day last week, a storm day turned out to be a panoply of simple random acts of kindness, just like that!

It started when I went out to do a few errands.  While browsing at the Salvation Army store, I ended up chatting with the cashier.  Seeing she had an empty Tim Horton's cup nearby, I inquired as to whether she drank their coffee. When she said yes, I handed her a coupon I had received for a free coffee.  She was very happy!  I don't use drive thru windows often, so paying for the coffee of the person behind me, at the drive thru queue, just wouldn't happen. THIS was my version of that common pay-it-forward gesture.

I had dropped off a book at the library, and was returning to my car, slogging my way across and over banks onto a street, full of slushy, icy snow when I noticed a young CCNB student standing up by his very ICED up vehicle, with a look of frustration on his face. He looked frozen too, as he wasn't dressed for winter.  I scooted back across the street. He couldn't get into his car.  The key turned in the lock but the door was completely iced up. He could not get it to budge an inch.  After asking a few questions I established that A) his key-less remote did not work, (no battery!)  B) he had no scraper or any object with which to help clear the ice, and C) all the other doors were locked and had no keyhole). He had one key.  There was therefore no question of trying to get one of the other doors open, and then having him crawl over, into, or across the front seat.  I thought about his dilemma for a minute.   Had it been Jiminy, I would have given the door frame above the keyhole, a good, HARD hit with the heel of my boot.  Since I didn't think he would appreciate my doing that to HIS car, I did the next best thing. Since I had already tried banging the door frame a few times with my upper arm and shoulder, without success, I turned around and did the NEXT BEST THING. I butted the door AS HARD AS I COULD, with my b-a-c-k-s-i-d-e.  You should have seen the look of incredulity and surprise on his face, when he tried the handle again, and the door OPENED! Too funny! Off I went, happy to have helped.  Don't we CANADIANS know all the tricks, when it comes to snow and ice?

I had just turned the corner from the library, now on my way home, when I noticed an elderly gentleman slugging his way through some slushy, icy and generally horrific walking conditions on Douglas Avenue.  He was carrying two, large shopping bags, and they looked heavy. I turned around, rolled down the window, and offered him a ride home.  He accepted, after making sure he told me that he didn't live close by.  I didn't care how far.  The poor man looked e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d. It turns out, he had already walked FIVE kilometers, some of it up a steep hill, to do some grocery shopping and had walked back THREE of those six when I picked him up. Poor soul! I was more than happy to drive him the rest of the way home.   The last half of a kilometre would have been up another hill. I don't know that he would have made it.

So my little outing resulted in a huge dose of dopamine for me and hopefully a tiny dose for the others. Plus, I was now good for three days! :)  

FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO KNOW...

HERE ARE UPDATES on some of my postings/MISE À JOUR

My aunt sold her house.  Youpi!  How WONDERFUL for her!!!  As to whether Saint Joseph can take the credit for that?  I will leave that up to you to decide.

Below is the piece of playground equipment on which that poor little kindergartner cut his head open, right between the eyes.  I still shudder thinking of the incident.  That day is one that I will n-e-v-e-r forget.  After I washed the blood off my hands, I proceeded to teach thirty-one five year old children, pretty much by myself.  Three students were absent, in what is a team teaching classroom.  Both teachers were out for training, so who was my team teaching supply colleague?  Bless his heart... a twenty-six year old, pony-tailed, tattooed, and ear pierced recent BA graduate, without a single, solitary day of TEACHER training under his belt.  (Doubt he was wearing one, either!)  Have I already mentioned that there is a supply teacher shortage?  He did his best, but I had to take the lead.  He couldn't take any initiative, because he was clueless, poor man.  Fortunately for me, the children  were ALL adorable, little angels and we had a MARVELOUS day together.  At the end of the day, a little cutie comes up to me, holding a lunchbox, and asks me if she can take it home to Tristan. Tristan is the little one who had had the accident in the school yard.  I asked her, "Why, sweetie?  Do you live near him?"  Her reply?  "Yes, he's my brother."  That is how I found out he was her twin!!! N+O+W who was clueless??

I finished that five hundred piece puzzle, which had been one of my January challenges. Doing the puzzle was a snap!    Figuring out HOW to get the puzzle OUT of the box, (one of those really tight, slide-out jobies), only took me three days to figure out.  T-H-A-T was the REAL challenge.

In closing, this update wouldn't be complete, if it didn't mention "poop" in some way, shape or form.  I inadvertently have been blogging on that subject, W-A-Y TOO much.  I promise this is my last "SHI*?!" story.  Vimy and I went out for a long walk late one night recently.  I usually stick to my immediate neighbourhood, but this time, I went further, closer to downtown.  It was after a storm and there were few people about. Remember my blog about feeling safe? Well, for a few seconds, I was a little apprehensive.  At one point I turned around, and saw that there was a tall, slim, hooded person walking behind me.  I slowed down, and stopped, letting Vimy do usual "pisse-minute" gig, all the while thinking, "What do I have as a weapon, if this person approaches me?"  All I had was Vimy's leash, and ANOTHER BIG BAG of dogie do!!  I figured if worse came to worse, I could swing it at him, trying to knock it about his head or something.  Ridiculous eh?  Thankfully, the dark stranger passed us by. Just like me, he was going home.

Did you know that...

brussel sprouts EXPLODE almost immediately in your microwave, when you try to warm them up?

you should always use a shopping cart in a store?  Don't load up your arms with bottles of Palmolive dish detergent.  Those caps aren't always on tight, and they leak.  All over!  All over your arm, your coat, and your hands when you try to clean up the mess. They don't have anything at the cash to help you to get those green gobs off your coat either.  You can even end up TASTING the soap, if you aren't careful and put your hands to your face.

you have to separate those green, perforated dogie do bags BEFORE you go out for a walk?   On a bitterly cold day, you need BOTH hands to pull on the perforation. Once separated, you need BOTH hands to open one end, IF you can see which end is the one you need to open.  Did I mention you have to take your gloves or mitts off? It is impossible to open otherwise. So by now BOTH your hands are frozen. You put your hand in the bag, to pick up the deposit, and realize the bag is TOO small.  If you succeed in picking up your dog's bomb, there is no room to tie the ends together, so you are walking around with an open poop bag.  Get my drift here?  DON'T buy these bags!

this little fancy, two pronged brush is meant to clean your dental appliance, and is NOT meant to clean the grime around your faucets?