A CANINE perspective on this Pandemic business!

The look I gave my master said it all. She knew it too. (I use the term Master, knowing she wouldn't like Mistress, because of the negative and sexist connotations. I know her WELL!) 

I have been wanting to have my say about this Covid business for a while now.  I may be just a dog, but I have thoughts and feelings too, and they are going to spill out right here. Consider this MY rant.

I am loved, well cared for and want for nothing. Don't get me wrong. However, my dog's life has been nonetheless impacted by this Pandemic.  My Master was hiking in the Himalayas last March, while I was living the life of Riley at the "Good Life Dog Hotel", when this Corona business was renamed COVID 19 and declared a global PANDEMIC!

My master came home ten days early and has pretty much been HOME a lot more since.  While I enjoy that, I miss my social time too. I don't get to go to doggie day care anymore. I hardly see any of my canine friends unless I meet them on a hiking trail. IF they have fussy, overly protective Masters, I can't even get a good sniff in. Jeepers! Furthermore, what I really miss is seeing ALL my "ma tantes"... who would come to visit.  There's ma tante Nancy in Texas, (she might as well be on another planet!), ma tante Linda, (not in my Zone and in Red besides), ma tante Louise,(in a LOCKDOWN zone) ma tante Denise (restricted household bubbles), and ma tante Jane and mon oncle John ( also in another Zone.)  I have picked up some new "ma tantes", ie. Monique, Christine, Aline, Celia, and especially ma tante Ali and mon oncle Yves, but I still miss my old ones. They spoiled me rotten. Everyone says I am such a good dog, and they love me. Everyone loves me. I am not bragging. That's the truth. They always say to my Master, "What a GOOD dog!"

There is one exception though! THE granddaughter and I are NOT friends. It's not my fault and it's not hers. I am just not used to children. I am afraid of them, along with being afraid of any and all stick-like objects, vacuum cleaners, gunshots on TV, thunder, loud noises, and anything that comes towards me moving at,or near my eye level... like toddlers, wheelchairs, and bicycles. So, being scared of her, I would bark when she scampered into the room, and even WORSE, sometimes I would even growl. Isn't that terrible? I only bark when someone is at the door, or walking by in the street, because it is my protective nature. Why am I barking at THE most important being in my Master's life?  So I went from being banished to the basement during my visits there, to being banished to the kennel, to not being able to be banished anywhere, since the Atlantic Bubble is no more, and NO ONE can go visit ANYWHERE, anyway! :( How are we going to get used to each other, when we can never see each other?)

I have experienced loss too. I am now eating leftover dog food donations from the owners of three D+E+A+D canine friends. I think I have lost count, actually. I did get to say goodbye to Bella, my cousin, but not to Roxie, nor Freddy and I didn't even know the dog whose food I received today, he being my Master's mother's neighbour's recently departed pooch. (Did you follow that one?) It is kind of morbid to be eating another DEAD dog's food, but since my Master is such a frugalista, I eat it just to make her happy. LOL

Today was the icing on the cake, however, and hence that pathetic look on my face. We left the house this morning, on what became a four hour odyssey to get my annual vaccines. Go figure!  Normally, that would involve a 25 minute drive max, to the arena in Belledune, where I would cower under a chair until my turn came to be innoculated from all those diseases I can get, apparently, and then we would be on our way. Time - 90 minutes max! 

NOT this year, thank you Covid!  It took over an hour in the car to drive to Dalhousie. Being in the car is NOT my favourite thing. Don't ask me why: it has to do with one of my three or four previous Masters, who must have been super nasty, because when I get in the car, I immediately lay on the floor behind the passenger seat and I DO NOT move from there, until the car stops. I am quasi COMATOSE!!! 

Well, because of an emergency the vet was running behind in her appointments, so I got to cower on the floor in the car for another hour and a half, while we waited in the parking lot. I got up on the back seat once or twice, because I was SO bored, but the minute my Master would turn around and look at me, uttering terms of endearment, I would scoot back behind the passsenger seat and hide my face.  Don't ask me why. I don't want to remember, because it must have been bad and I can't forget.  We are dogs are like elephants, I think. 

We finally got in to see my favourite vet, even though I shook like a leaf, and immediately scooted under the bench to hide. I didn't whimper, nor bark, nor squirm, nor do anything bad, while my butt was stabbed with a needle and another long needle was stuck up my nose! However, getting my claws clipped DID make me squirm a bit, necessitating that vise-like grip from the vet's BOUNCER, around my neck. NOW, I had had enough. Hence the pathetic look on my face, and the reason for this blog.

Just so you know though, I am a very happy and grateful pooch, who just had to let it all hang out today. Thanks for reading my rant! VIMY 

  

   

YOU HAVE to keep laughing, and what better place ...

to have a chuckle than at school? I have been saving these comments and exchanges since last fall, where I taught in mainly primary classes, so we are talking five, six and seven year olds. Try to keep a straight face? I couldn't!

Liam: Informed me he needed a "high whitener." (He meant a "highliter.")

Eric: "This is the ULTIMATE day changer!" (He was talking about snack time!)

I spent one morning working with two little rambunctious fellows, who needed constant reminders to stay on the task at hand. I found myself saying over, and over, and over again, during a literacy period "Michael!", "Jackson!", "Michael!", "Jackson". True story!!

Coming in from recess, I stepped into a Kindergarten class just in time to hear the cutest, tiniest, blue eyed, blond haired moppet turn to his fellow classmate and ask him, "Did YOU sanitize?" He meant the hands, because they have to do that as soon as they come in from outside recess. Future supervisor there! 

A SIX year old came up to me in his very busy classroom, and in ALL seriousness asked me, "Can you step away a minute Madame?  I want to tell you something in private." How can you refuse a request like that?

The same one, a little later, says to me, "I don't want to tell you what to do, BUT..." He proceeded to tell me. :)

The same mature little fellow said to me the next morning, "Coffee is the BEST part of the day, right?"

THE same little fella said to me, with a grin, the third day I was in his class.  "You didn't have to threaten me.  I knew you wouldn't keep me in at lunch time." I had told him earlier, "Do I have to threaten you? IF you don't do some of your work, you will be staying in for some of your lunch recess." He knows me well! Besides, he managed to do a "tiny" bit of his work. 

Last but not least, from yours truly from above... KNOCK! KNOCK!  Who's there? Turnips. Turnips who?  Turnips the volume, I can't hear the music!   

Alex:  Madame, I have Covid. Just kidding!

Justin: "Madame, what's that thing above your nose?" I am wearing a mask, so my hand automatically goes to my glasses. When he sees that he adds, "No, it's that SCRATCH, and he points to my forehead." That was when I informed him that THAT "scratch" is called a "WRINKLE!"

The next day, Justin says to me, "I want to help you Madame." I respond, "Great! How are you going to do that?"  He replies, with a smile " I am being quiet." Right then and there I forgave him for the "scratch" comment. LOL

Oliver: "Guess what I got for my birthday?  A Fitbit!!" Me, to myself, "Whatever happened to Dinky Toys?"

Alex: Running around the classroom when he shouldn't be, and when questioned, replied, "She's got a crush on me and I am trying to get away from her!"  Yeah, right!

Kaylee: "I like your teaching." Ahhhh! Bless her little heart.

LAST but not least, today... I was asking the students in my Grade One French Immersion class, to tell me about their pets.  Who had a pet? What was the name? One little one informed me he had two pets,and then proceeded to give me the names of his three dogs, "Isabelle, Mica et Mia." I couldn't figure out why three names for two pets, so I asked him the question again? Est-ce que tu as un animal de compagnie? To which he replied, "Oui, j'ai deux chiens." “Comment s'appellent-ils?” I asked, as I repeated my question. “Isabelle, Mica et Mia” he replied again!  So,  he is giving me the names of three dogs once more! My look of puzzlement was finally enough for his classmate beside him to pipe up and say, "Madame, he is saying, "Ils s'appellent... NOT Isabelle!" OMG, here is one smarter than the teacher! In my defense, the kids ARE wearing masks, and it is NOT always easy to understand them.  I know... I know... that's no excuse!! :)