You are NEVER too old to...

lose three demerit points off your license, for going NINETY kilometres per hour in a FIFTY zone. It was the FIRST time I lost points, EVER! Tears did NOT get me off the hook this time. Merde!

to squeal your tires, even if you did so inadvertently, when driving a little shitbox like my Jiminy Cricket. (Mazda 2)

shovel snow (what we call in these parts "white shit!") off  your lawn in late April, because you can't S*T*A*N*D looking at the pile of it in front of your living room window, blocking your view and the sunlight.  I must stop overusing a certain word.

learn why woodpeckers LOVE pecking at utility poles, and not just trees. Every morning on my walk with Vimy, I see my same little buddy pecking his heart out, and making an ungodly racket, where the pole is flanked by metal. Every time I heard him, I would think "Peck your heart out.  Good luck with that buddy!", until a friend informed me that those poles were full of insects. Insects don't go to dead trees?  I know shit. OOPS!

to walk to your brother's house- a gorgeous seven kilometre walk on a rare, sunny and windy Sunday. First time I was ever able to walk to a family member's house, from my place. I wouldn't have been up for the 4,375 km hike that it would have been had he stayed in Alberta. :)

be asked by a student in Grade One, if you know whether B*E*A*R hunting season has started.  I haven't the foggiest idea on the subject, but obviously Alex thought I was in the know. It is kind of wonderful to have children think you know EVERYTHING! 

appreciate the linguistic duality of our great country, and this witty play on words, when you see this book on the desk of a Grade Five student in a French school.  NOT that I agree with it, mind you. I did a double take upon reading the title, (which is a series, like The Babysitters)  but when it had sunk in, I had to GUFFAH! Love that word "guffaw...by the way.
  

to put your foot in your mouth, big time! I had stopped to chat with my neighbours, an older gay couple whom I call Oscar and Felix. I was complimenting them on their lovely front garden, adding that all that was missing was a flag stone, like the one I had given as a gift to a friend once, saying ... "Don't piss off the fairies."  Oops! I turned redder than a beet! They had a good chuckle and Roger added that if ever he saw one, he would buy it right away.

to show children how to blow bubbles (as in gum!), doing so with thirty six,  seven and eight year olds in a Grade Two class, while singing Sheree Fitch's poem "BUBBLEGUM BENNY" , put to
song.  After ALL, learning to make bubbles with your bubblegum, as a kid, is a very, very important life skill, don't you agree?

SO GET OUT THIS SUMMER , with a child, AND GO BLOW BUBBLES WITH YOUR BUBBLE GUM!