WARNING! Do NOT read this unless you are a TOTAL, and I mean, TOTAL dog lover!
While visiting my daughter beloved (DB) and favourite son-in-law (FSIL) over the holidays, I took one of their dogs, Piper, along with me and Vimy, for a much needed walk in the lovely neighbourhood.
We had gone out for a family brunch that morning. When we arrived home, there was a big serving spoon on the floor, licked CLEAN, and a 9 x 13 baking dish on the counter, the foil cover half off. The dish was empty. OF COURSE! What had been in that dish? Well, it had been half full of
"Petes de Sœurs" an Acadian dessert also known as Nun's Farts, or Rosettes. I had made them yesterday. The culprit? Piper!! The syrupy concoction, hereby called EVIDENCE, was all over her collar and her fur. Vimy and Freddy were clean as a whistle. Furthermore, poor Piper looked guilty as hell and slunk off to her bed when questioned by my FSIL.
The walk was still on though. We were no sooner out the door than Piper leaves a huge deposit on the lawn, because of course, she had just eaten tons of sugar. It was on their lawn, so I left it. I am NOT going to be the Poop Fairy here, in their own yard. I do decide, however, to take a snap and text it to my daughter. Piper had just been in the dogie hospital overnight recently, for bowel obstruction. She had POSSIBLY eaten SOMETHING then, that she shouldn't have, and history was repeating itself quickly. Daughter beloved had told me they were monitoring her BMs, so... I thought she would want to see. DB later tells me that I am weird, for sending her that pic! W-h-a-t??? I am just being mindful of my grand dogs!
We have a brisk 30 minute walk through the park. As we are cresting the hill that brings us home, I see that their car is gone. They had told me they were going to the gym. First thought that came to mind? "Bet you ANYTHING they locked the door." Piper chooses that moment to drop another bomb, except we are two doors away. It is a deposit right in the grass at the end of a neighbour's driveway. I CAN'T leave it there. (Damn that POOP FAIRY, she is always talking to me.) So I pick it up with a bag, but of course, because of the deposits' consistency, and my sloppiness, some brown liquid leaks out onto my thumb! (I warned you remember?) MAUDIT! Why didn't I leave my gloves on????? I don't have ANY tissues on me. There is NO snow on which I can wipe my thumb. There is NOTHING!!!
I walk up to the front door, gingerly trying to keep my thumb separate from the rest of my hand while I try to turn the front door handle. Locked of course. I knew it! I go back down the steps and am debating whether I should try the back door when I receive a text. Do you know that it is i-n-c-r-e-d-i-b-l-y DIFFICULT to hold onto TWO dogs, keep your right thumb free of everything, AND fish your cell phone out of your pocket? Ever try it? I DID it though. Text from FSIL (favourite son-in-law) states, "The front door will be unlocked". My succinct return text? "It isn't." His reply "It will be in 5 seconds." I look up only to see them DRIVING up. Whew! Rescued once again!!!
New Year's Resolution? Stop being a Poop Fairy? NO! Just kidding. However, I do have to go shopping for disposable latex gloves. DEFINITELY!! First purchase of the New Year. Which brings me to my second New Year's Resolution. STOP BUYING STUFF!
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