Experience gives you your own definitions of life!

How do I define GOOD SERVICE?  Having the car I just purchased driven up to the Miramichi, so that I don't have to go all the way to the southern part of the province to pick it up.  How do I define NOT SO GOOD service?  Having it delivered with cigarette burns on the back seat, a film of dirt and grime on everything, (I could write my name in the rear view mirror); in need of an oil change, missing plates, the bill of sale, stickers and permit; no driver's manual or extra key, and to boot, a BRAND NEW CONDOM tucked under the driver side visor.

How do I define PERCEPTION? I don't think that the basement of my new apartment still totally reeks of cat urine, though I know it DOES smell.  However, my baby Bro comes over to install the washer and dryer, and has to run back upstairs, gagging, and apologizing for not being to stay down there long enough to finish the job all at once.  My mother and my sister, arriving later, insist I close the door to the basement, and put a towel along the bottom, to impede the stink from wafting up under the door.  So much for my thinking the smell wasn't THAT bad.

REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE, has now become for me "Caveat Emptor", or buyer beware!  I buy a used washer and dryer, reassured that both work, and if they don't, I can return them. Of course the dryer doesn't work, and I am not going to ask baby Bro to return them.  Too much hassle for us both. A service call repair later, and $80 POORER, I have a functioning dryer.  IRONY?  My mother moves into her new apartment six weeks later and gives me her old washer and dryer.  Now I have to turn around and sell the ones I just bought, because they aren't the same good quality as my mother's appliances, and won't last long, according to the repairman. Did I mention I could use the $300.00 as well?

More Buyer Beware: The Bissell Carpet Sweeper I buy off Kijiji works, but it seems to blow more than it sucks and it makes a God awlful noise every time I use it.  I decide that I am NOT going to buy a used microwave after all, so I bite the bullet and go buy one at Walmart.  Buying anything at Walmart is totally against my core values, but hey.... I have been twice burned doing this Reduce, Reuse and Recycle schtick!

HONESTY DOES NOT PAY - You advise your home insurance carrier that your house you have been trying to sell for two years, is now vacant, but being well taken care of and checked at least three times a week. What do they do?  They lead you down the garden path with so many different quotes on a quadrupling of your house insurance premium, that you are left reeling and frantic about having your home insurance cancelled before you can get a more reasonable premium elsewhere. Which all leads to untold stress between you and your ex leading up to Christmas.  Yeah,  right, try to tell me that "Honesty is always the best policy!"

HIGH ANXIETY - Your pooch, who never barks unless someone comes to the door, barks furiously the entire time you leave him alone the first time, in the new apartment.  HIGHER ANXIETY? Your landlord calls you on your cell to complain.  You think, "OMG, I am going to get thrown out of my apartment, and I have just moved in!" You have to work most days, and your pooch is alone. Who comes to your rescue? Your dog kennel man, a sweetie who lends you his birdhouse decoration, that emits a high pitched sound within 75 feet of any barking dog.  Your poor Vimy is so cowed by that noise, that he remains upstairs when you leave.  I don't think he dares come down again until I come home.  I feel so sorry for him, but the alternative was a shock collar.  That I wanted to avoid at all costs. They are cruel!

RIDICULOUS?  You work for two different employers, in two different languages; one in French, one in English.  One employer hounds you for a certificate of proficiency in French, although ONE- it is your mother tongue, TWO - you have always taught it, and THREE - you have a certificate showing superior proficiency in your second language, English.  Ipso facto, since French is your native tongue, you should be quite proficient in teaching it.  Correct? Nope!  If you don't supply the certificate by early January, or pay $60, get tested and pass, your name will be removed from the eligibility list to teach that language in specialized classes. Another "beggars belief" in my books!  I fight back by sending emails back and forth, and exchanging phone calls. On a matter of principle alone, I REFUSE to pay the $60.00.

SUBLIME? The school board in question will reimburse my $60.00 once I been evaluated and designated PROFICIENT, so I cave.  I need to work. They can interview me until the COWS come home if they want.  I will not be out of pocket.  So, ten days before Christmas I am running around downloading an application form to be evaluated, running to the bank for a money order, stamping and posting the two and awaiting notice by email of my testing date. I needed this like I need another hole in my head.  Where is the common sense?  Replaced by "Policies and Procedures", I am told. "Accept it!" I am told. "NEVER!", I say. Unfortunately, common sense is no longer common.

BRAIN FART?  For the FIRST time in my working life, I fail to show up for work, and I DON'T even call. Why? I misread the supply assignment posted by the app on my cell phone. I think it is a one day assignment, but it is a TWO day assignment. Imagine my chagrin when the school secretary calls and asks me where I am. I am obviously NOT in the classroom, where I am supposed to be.  I am thinking I have a day off so I am waiting for the dryer repair man to come fix my dryer.  So in reality, that repair call cost me over $280.00. Not to mention total mortification on my part.

I have come up with all these definitions as applicable to my life, over a span of less than six weeks. I know we are supposed to be lifelong learners, but I think I have learned QUITE enough for awhile, thank you.